Hindsight is a luxury

No one can be sure about the future.

Hindsight is a luxury, he told me twice. And then he stopped all conversations after just short of two months of chatting.

The withdrawal was pretty intense in the beginning. You wake up without any reply on your phone. That void in your heart. That missing piece, you may even argue. You start talking in your head - imagining you conversing to him yet in reality, you're just stoning watching the GE monitor beeping with the saturation 99%.

I told myself, I would drown myself in studies if things didn't work out. I would take up Master, deny myself of everything and work myself to near-death because I could not care less to feel. I wanted to just be numb about everything.

My mega plan failed miserably. Not only I felt so burnt out after my first exam for my membership, I also turned down the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for postgrad studies in this country. Without any substantial plan now, my future in becoming an anaesthetist is at the verge of destruction. Well, anyone would consider it gone by now.

What really happened?

We'll find out soon.


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