The need of liberation

I am a little confused, as of today.

It's been almost two months I have been dipped into a sort of a limbo, a myriad of situations I can't quite dissect, despite my self-claim of being a very analytical person. I often wonder, have I lost my mind, or have I reduced myself to the least of the least that I end up accepting this one possibility. I still cannot find an answer to that. My heart goes into a little flutter (figure of speech, by the way - I maintain that the most I probably get is sinus tachycardia!) every time I see the name coming across my screen. I look forward to hearing (or rather, reading) from a certain character whose existence I was not even aware of two months prior. I often keep the conversation going why asking questions, giving my opinions and such. Yet, yesterday it all sank into me that maybe I was the one over thinking and over hoping for something that would never happen.

I kept my silence.

It has been twenty four hours. I read about FRC, slept a whole lot and worked out 'til I couldn't feel my muscles. I impulsively cut my hair. Still, I cannot help but wonder.. was it just me, or something has just gone wrong. My head was filled with speculative theories which I cannot confirm nor confer.

Bottom line, really is, I am just plain confused. I am not sure if there was anything on the other side, or I was making up all these made-believe just to give myself hope.

Until then, I shall keep my silence. Hold my head high and carry on.

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