Sleep, procrastination and avoidance

I sometimes cannot believe that I have turned into a sloth - procrastinating and avoiding altogether at all cost.

Most of my friends mock me for sleeping so much. I agree that I sleep more than an average thirty year old. However, most do not actually know that at one of my lowest points in life, I was having hypersomnolence as part of my coping mechanism for depression. Little have I realised that the excessive sleeping I have been doing nowadays is a reflection of what I am trying to cope with - the low points in life.

A few days ago, I saw that it was his birthday on facebook. I felt a little nostalgic when memories flashed by my mind. Did he make me a better person? Most people disagreed. I felt that even though I was made so little by him, the few years have made me realise how strong love could be and grow to be. It showed me a glimpse of sacrificial love, a type of love where everything you do is effortless yet so fulfilling - things that keep you going and smiling. A glimpse, I emphasise - because it was only just a glimpse. The big picture was not a pretty one.

So, I choose to sleep. Sleep can make me forget many things. Sleep can allow dreams to seep through and bring me away from reality. I sleep because being awake reminds me of ugly truths which destroy me.


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