An honest opinion
Ten years ago, I broke the heart of a guy who was interested in me. I did not understand what he saw in me. He was someone who made me laugh every time we chat on ICQ. I was afraid because I was envisioning all sorts of things when he made a move. I shunned him away and broke him. We were both eighteen.
Ten years later, he married a girl few years his junior. A very sweet, pretty and petite girl. I felt a little down because I often thought of the what would have happened if I were slightly more mature enough to handle things back then. But then again, things may not have worked out, anyway. I do not think anyone wanted someone who is struggling day in and out with her weight issues.
How ironic it seems that it could have been a suitable time for my own wedding this time around in view that I recently completed my housemanship.
Whilst the people were having pretty decor and good food last night, I asked my colleagues over to my place, 1000km away from the wedding place, for tapao dinner, gin and tonic, and Xbox Kinect. I could not help but feel rather upset I am still single while most of my friends are happily married. I laughed harder and louder last night because I guess, that is really what is left that I could do merrily.
Am I miserable?
I am not sure. I must admit - things are going fine on my side. I enjoy my job, I have a decent place to live in and great friends who make me laugh real hard most time. The only qualm I have now really is my weight issue - a never ending struggle for me for a long, long time. But why is it that every time I swim, I think of the guys who broke my heart and those whose hearts I had probably broken?