Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Bitter nut

I have turned into a bitter person. Life and working environment is so adverse here that no one even pity you for being overworked. Working a nonstop 36 hours (sometimes more!) is a norm. No off day, mind you! Not even weekend off. Yes, seven days a week I kid you not. Never a day when you can wake up later than 430am. It is so bad I literally want to puke every day. I feel numb. No feeling whatsoever and yet, everything and everyone else moves around regardless.

I am bitter. I am so bitter. I get so irritable so easily I start cursing. This is how bad I have become and I cannot even stop to reflect or ponder. I have never-ending job lists that bosses demand to have in the ever shortest time. I have lost all humanity. I become annoyed when the patient's femoral catheter is removed when my boss clearly said not to remove, and then when we want to dialyse the patient, the primary team said no, we are busy.. You insert the catheter. What crap. At 5pm! It isn't even funny I was so furious.

I have turned out ugly. And I was forced to. No choices given. This career has killed me. I am just a shell without any feelings because the moment I feel, I just want to quit. I have never been a sharp person. I am not able to survive at this rate I am going.

1 comment:

Sylvia Kang said...

Hey, hang in there. Speak to Him, ask for your burdens to be lifted away. Lay them down before Him. I know it is easier said than done, and I am in no perfect shape to advise. But continue having Faith. The day will come when we see Light. :) *Hugs*