Because it mattered

He turned 28 today. When I first known him, he was 24 turned 25.


Time flies, no?

I forgot it was his birthday until M. Maus reminded me and my face showed that stricken terror look. Almost, at least.

I surprised myself that the birthday could slip my mind so conveniently. But then again, I would forget my own birthday, so this is no big deal. The deal was, for a moment when I was all alone in my room, I had tears welled up in my eyes because I thought things have really changed so much. So, so much.

Oh, please play this as a background music while you read my emo piece.


I teared because I couldn't quite believe things that happened to me for the past 3 years - the best 3 years of my life in the city I love so much. Every single thing felt like a dream. A complete dream.

I have been trying so hard to let go and move on. The moment I realised I have let go and moved on, the sense of liberation was surreal. It was impressive. I could not quite describe. Yet, there were moments when I wished, oh I so wished, I would be able to feel the pain once again. At least I knew my emotions were there. Now, it feels so numbed I can't seem to feel anything.

He treats me like an acquaintance now. Polite conversations, peppered with smiley faces after each reply. Somebody I used to know.

Happy birthday, somebody I used to know. You've been such an important bit in my life, yet, now how easily everything dissipated into thin air. As if it never happened. Never.


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