Something more than just hard work

Few years ago, I declared that my current family home is the most inconducive place to study. The ceilings are too high and the lightings too dim. Don't mention other distractions such as the dogs (I used to revise 2 pages of A Level biology and walk out to talk to the dogs for 2 minutes.. ), tv, internet, sofa-of-no-return ecetra.

So, no. One can never study in that house. It is almost impossible. The little Meeps (nevermind that she is actually physically taller than me) had her share of sufferings in terms of studying. It used to be me chilling out at home, watching the tellie or being online. She would try to 'study' from 7pm onwards, but ended up walking back and forth the study room and living room to 'catch some tv'. By 9pm, she would then tell herself - haiyah, might as well go up to the bedroom to study now. In the bedroom, the temptation of the bed was so huge that her eyelids started to feel heavy. She would usually doze off by 10pm ish.

There were times that she would be trying to 'revise' physics for a test the following day. She could doze off on the couch holding pieces of papers from Kadir's. Then, I would wake her up to go to bed but I only got scoldings in return because she would insist she needed to study. Her studying meant holding the papers, sitting up but with eyes closed. How peculiar, indeed.

I told her one has got to be realistic. A+ is not an easy task to get. Remember those days when people were getting SPM results in units? 6 units being the best? I recall those years when straight A1s were scarce. I told her that in order to have a good chance to score all A+ in all subjects, one needed to be at least the top student in class. She managed to push herself up to top 3 but never really made it to the top.

Also, I deeply feel that SPM is the least of what we can take pride in when we enter adulthood. Yes, it is all glamorous and fun to score the A1s or A+s. But look at me now - I won't quantify nor qualify my SPM results as being successful at the end of the day. I think I am far from there. This is the ninth year I left school and I am still hanging around not really knowing what to do with my life after a major heart break (okay, just kidding!). One does not need all the As in the world to be a happy person. Look at so many of my friends who have found their soulmates, gotten married and even have children.

However, I do think SPM is important in the sense that it is a stepping stone for people like me - the lower middle class who live in moderation (no, I don't own designer products) but education is impossible for us to afford. I know how it feels not being able to afford college fees. They are not cheap. The only way out is to do extremely well and pray that there is a scholarship.

And this year, I heard there is none. How silly. All of a sudden, the straight A+ becomes a bit.. errrr, pointless? I am not sure. Maybank might give RM100 or something like that. But hey, even a meal at TGIF cost RM60++ per head. I remember working hard (in the midst of heart getting broken as well) with only one thing in mind my entire primary and secondary school life - to earn a scholarship. I got it in the end. The irony is that I plummeted into deeper ends soon after.

I shall say - Eeeps my star sister is simply amazing. She rolled off my arms when she was few months old and probably sustained a head injury (hiak hiak hiak) and always blamed me for making her 'stupid'. I think she had put in a fair amount of work, but I don't think it is purely hard work. It is more than that. It is something God-given. We don't know His plans, but they are definitely to proper, not to harm.

Amen to that.


Lynna said…

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