God surprises

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  17  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
(2 cor 4:16-18)

We arrived in church promptly. I told Sa the biggest truth - I never quite understand this preacher's message 9 out of 10 times. I shrugged - maybe it is my lack of understand, ignorance or what-not. I just cannot. No matter how hard I tried.

It was interesting because God just suddenly granted me this 'eyes' to see. It was a crystal clear message this morning and I was so impressed at how the message spoke to me. The Scriptures came alive and I almost felt like it was like an epiphany sort of situation. I was so, so impressed - not at myself, by the way. But at how God gave me that understanding because I think He knows I was desperate and I really, really wanted to understand.

The clarity of the message was not the end of it. It was a challenge. Almost like a wake-up call. I suddenly shudder. More of this fear and awe for what is the truth. That 'deeper' reality, like how the speaker said it. I started to evaluate my rubbish, messed up life - as versus to that very enriching spiritual life in Christ.

Oh, how I yearn.

For once, I really feel that deep pang of regrets..

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