My official blog is down. And I have been wanting to write something. Hence, here.
I am a broken girl. The past week had been a turmoil for me. I have been thinking and reflecting. I have been filled with a lot of bitterness and fury. I am angry at myself most of the time. I am bitter. I am tired of having to think and reflect and analyse to come to a conclusion time and time again. I hate the fact that I cannot be honest to confront because I have a code of confidentiality to keep. I get plain irritated when people tell me things that I obviously never had the privilege to have.
So I cry. I cry because tears make me feel temporarily numb. I cry when I think of the times I have been 'cheated'. The times when I did think at least there was a slight hope. I cry thinking that the person I really care about isn't even interested in getting to know me. Does that not spell f-a-m-i-l-i-a-r. I cry because I know I am stupid enough to allow things to happen when I should have stopped long ago. I cry because I feel the sting when I look from the sideline seeing others get attention and I don't because no one is interested in a plain girl like me. Not to mention, someone who constantly battles with her weight problem.
They say what you don't know won't hurt you. Then how about know the truth and it shall set you free?
I am torn. I am very broken.
I never asked for anything. Yet, I have to be crushed this way. It is unfair. So unfair.