A girl, still is

At one point of my life (recently, actually), it was just like a knock in my head waking up from certain dreams when I realised how stupid I was having crushes sporadically. It was tormenting my emotional self. It was a waste of effort and energy. Maybe it did help a bit on speeding up the metabolism rate but it was just plain stupid to feel that way.

At that wake of time, I became more realistic. I know that until I find myself complete in Him, I cannot ever find myself a relationship. Not that there was any potential ones, honestly. Mutualism does not exist in my vocabulary. I am well aware of that. However, I have been discovering and rediscovering myself. Full of flaws, I cannot imagine how one could ever love me for who I am. I am now surrounded by friends who are attached. Do I feel sad?

Well, I do not think I feel desperate. I feel that I have so much more to discover and prepare for that one person, if he actually exists. It doesn't really matter if I were to remain single for my entire life. Complete I am in Christ. I do not need a guy to complete me. Though it is really wonderful to have someone to be with.

Wow, I can't believe I am actually saying this. Just few years ago, I was still convinced that the ideal age to get married is 24. How naive.


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