You're not so bad.. but..

I have always been labeled that way. You're not so bad, but you're just not the type guys would fall or go for.

I have sort of given up hope and currently in the state of "just not looking" because I am fed up generally with the male population who only go for looks and body shape and size. Yes, I am on the plump side. I am not pretty. I am not attractive and I am lazy to put up pretty clothes and make up.

But honestly, if you were to get guys falling over you just because of your looks, then it's just too bad.

Every girl wants a man who love them for who they are. But I guess this isn't exactly what is happening in this world.

They say 'chemistry'. I like this word 'chemistry' as well. I like it because it just sounds so sophisticated. You cannot exactly explain why you have this attraction towards a certain guy. Wait. It should be more of physics than chemistry, I suppose? Something mysterious. Something you question yourself about. Something that makes your heart beat slightly faster. Wait, then it should be physiological. Biological, whatever.

I always thought I would lead a normal life of graduating with a decent job, get a husband, start a family. Then, suddenly I find myself jumping into a challenging medical line. I find myself not only without a boyfriend, but I never even had one or think I should have one. I run away from the reality most of the time. And wait, then there is this PCOS issue that popped up. My fertility at stake.

Life doesn't sound far, does it?


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