Beyond pathetic-ness

I just infected Stephen Tong with an affinity towards Roger Federer. I made him watch the CNN Talk Asia and read this superbly written Vogue Men article.

While we talk in Dubai, Federer's Slovak-born girlfriend, Mirka Vavrinec, sits over at the bar, going through his schedule, making calls on a cell phone. He glances over at her from time to time, to gauge what she is up to. He then looks at me squarely, as if confiding a big secret. "I go into every single match thinking I could lose," he says. "Most days I think I could lose easily—that if I don't play my game, I will lose." However often he says it, though, it doesn't really sound any more likely.
You see, I am just plain, plain pathetic. I am a full time undergrad doing a medical degree. But what do I dream and wish to do?

Go online, watch tennis, read tennis, play tennis... and everything in between. Probably a tennis journalist.

Don't get me wrong - I do not hate what I am studying. In fact, I appreaciate and truly cannot imagine what else I would be doing other than medicine. I love medicine, but just lately, the distractions are there. I don't know why. If I were to study journalism, let's say, I probably would be confessing my medical obsession at this current point.

Life's like that...

You'll never be satisfied. Somehow, the grass always seems greener on the other side.

Just cannot believe how pathetic I can be. I come back home - quickly rushed my revision. Very brief, almost not even memorising. Just reading through for the sake of reading it through. Then happily switched on the laptop to go online.

I am beyond hopeless.


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